Written by: Steve Sisler the whacko’ during a time of reflection. Follow me on Twitter like a mindless idiot because everybody’s doing it.

This morning I was down on the bay thinking about this concept of “as is” in regards to child rearing. Here is the million-dollar question; do we love our young adult kids as they are, or do we consistently push them towards what we think they should be and then reward them with affirmation when they attain our personal standards?

I really don’t believe this is a bright idea. How many of us are able to love our kids as they are with all their strengths and weaknesses and trust they will eventually blossom into a wondrous creature? Many times I am tempted to force them into what I believe is the correct mold; a mold in which I can be proud so that I may later boast in my accomplishment. I am tempted to teach them not only how to believe, but also what to believe in… after all, I’m the expert right?

How many of us enjoyed this parenting model at seventeen years of age? My goal is to exemplify integrity, honor, truth and faith to my children; to openly fail, try, succeed and repent when I royally screw up. To guide, guard, govern, direct, correct, protect, encourage, admonish and cherish my children with all my might. To love them as they are as opposed to as I think they should be.

It’s so incredibly easy to lay down a set of laws and create a system of rewards and punishments as a means to creating and shaping the child I believe I can be proud of. The older I get, the more I realize the power of my position as a parent; a position that many times I have failed to fully understand.

I have realized over the years that the goal of parenting is to release a child into the world of men with a strong love for self, others and God if possible. That is all. Their choices, goals, dreams and opportunities seized upon after that point is all entirely their fault. I will, as Jesus did, love them where they are, not where they should be. I will encourage them where they are, not where they should be. I will support them where they are and not hold them hostage to where they should be.

And like me, they will own their choices. They will own their personal discoveries. They will own their faith. They will own their actions or lack thereof. They will be able to take the credit for all personal gains and in the end, rejoice in the power and peace that comes from making a great decision. They will relish in the freedom we all so desperately need as people, and they will reap all the rewards that accompany the freedom to choose for themselves… and then I will continue to love them with a fury even if their choices are not the same as mine.