Most people live their lives from a self-interest viewpoint.  Even their thoughts are always surrounding ideas of how they are going to get what they want or how they are seen by others. When others’ view of you becomes the motivator that guides your actions, you have lost control of your life.

“But enough about me talking about myself, what do you think about me?” – famous actor

In all our relationships, there are both givers and takers. Givers listen. Takers talk. If you can get it in your mind to think about others and their needs whenever possible, you will build better and lasting relationships; otherwise you will develop shallow surface relationships that are nothing more than mini self-help programs masquerading as friendship.

Your conversations are reduced to little therapy sessions. As Solomon says, “The one who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend;” graciousness caries with it the idea of benevolence, indulgence and good taste.  Benevolent to others, indulgent of others and good taste while doing it.

“The best relationships surround the idea of bringing wonderful things to the table on both sides.” –Steve Sisler

Solomon says that people of deep knowledge use words with restraint, but fools gush out anything. And whoever answers a matter before they have fully listened to the other persons side and digested the information is also a fool. Those are pretty harsh words, but think about it; when you promote your own ideas and tolerate everyone else’s, what does that say about you?

Now what should you do about this? Characterize yourself by warm kindness and courtesy, by tact and propriety and watch your relationships blossom at home, at work, at play. Saint Paul encourages us to make sure our words are “seasoned with salt” so that they are worth listening to. Salt is a preservative. We should be about preserving the dignity of others as much as possible. What are your words seasoned with? Do you allow even the possibility that the words and ideas of someone else are even remotely close to being at least as important as yours? If nothing else, it’s something to think about.