Archive for March, 2009
On being creative
Posted by: | CommentsEveryone is wrong at one time or another; the difference between creative and non-creative people is being prepared to be wrong.
Owning your decisions; the key to raising better children
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Social scientists have discovered that we accept responsibility for a behavior if we believe we have decided to perform it without exterior pressures or manipulations. Big rewards as well as punishment can be regarded as external pressure agents that may produce a few results, but it never causes the necessary emotional “buy in” that creates long term ability. Long term commitment derives its glue from personal decision making and responsibility nearly every time. psychologists Jonathan Freedman and Scott Fraser, in the 1960’s, published remarkable results in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1966 and Freedman’s Robot Study reported fully in Freedman, 1965.
Robots and Rebellion
In the robot study, Freedman wanted to see if he could prevent second to fourth grade boys from playing with a fascinating toy. In a nutshell, Freedman’s approach was simple; ask one group of 22 boy’s to NOT touch the robot, which was one of a small number of toys placed in a room with one-way glass for observation. The other toys were much more boring and unappealing; one of which was a baseball glove without the ball. The second set of 22 boy’s were threatened by punishment if they touched the more appealing toy robot. Upon observation, only one out of twenty-two boy’s among both groups touched the toy robot when Freedman was present. Six weeks later, both sets of boy’s were allowed back into the room for play time, this time without the presence of Freedman to enforce any perceived rules. An astonishing thing happened that day; only 33% of those asked not to touch the far more attractive robot actually touched it, while among the other group of boy’s, the rule was virtually ignored altogether.
When anyone is threatened by any consequence, you may get a short term result especially when present to observe or enforce the rule, but once your presence is no longer accompanied by your ability to enforce, your rule will more than likely be ignored altogether especially if the individual has not bought into the idea personally. On the other hand, when an individual has personally decided to buy into the idea of wrongness, they will tend to act consistent with that which they have now made a personal commitment to do.
Inner change
From these examples, we can see that when we make decisions based upon our own personal value base, these decisions ordinarily tend to stick, but when we make decisions based upon what others believe to be correct for us, we will be forced to display our independence regarding such decisions when ever we get the chance. This is important when raising children or managing employees as you well know. Many a parent is virtually flabbergasted when their child says or does one thing in their parents presence only to do another in their absence. Our job as parents is to help our children develop their own rules; behavior they will be proud of, rather than enforcing our values upon them. unfortunately, the more we believe our children to be a reflection of our standards, the harder this process becomes.
Punishment vs. discipline
Punishment is more about pay-back and less about training and development. When your child embarrasses you in the grocery store, some parents will be more apt to create consequences equal too or greater than their embarrassment factor, while those parents who are disciplined oriented will use the moment for training and helping the child become more responsible. This latter approach is far more complex and uses far more energy and self-sacrifice, but yields a much better crop in the future. In fact, the word discipline is neatly tucked away in the word disciple, which actually means “disciplined learner.” So, if you want great employees or great children it is far more advantageous to “disciple” them by helping them along during the developmental stages as opposed to pushing them along in an effort to create robots who mimic our behavior. But that would mean you were actually in this for them and not yourself to begin with.
Working from Cyber Space
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According to the news this morning in Massachusetts, unemployment may reach 9% in the next few months. I was thinking about this and realized that although I am housed and living in MA, I actually do not work there. This is the benefit of having a “virtual” corporation. This is the “New Corporate Dream.”
Over the past several years, I have “virtualized” my ideas and have successfully marketed them to the masses. The reason why this has been successful is because I apparently have something to say. I have come to the conclusion that having something to say is code for having an idea that someone can find useful; useful meaning your idea is a vehicle that drives them away from the problems they are currently facing. Good ideas are those ideas that translate into movement, while bad ideas leave you wishing it were true.
Mental exponential madness
Did you know that the top ten “In Demand” jobs of 2010 did NOT exist in 2004? And that currently, we are preparing kids for jobs that do not even exist yet! The old model of going to work with your sack lunch and returning home at 5:00 is starting to look like a mint green Cadillac with large rear fins. We are currently working on technological apparatuses that are not fully invented, that will solve problems not yet in existence. The department of labor estimates that today’s learner will have 10-14 jobs by the age of 38 and that 1 in 2 employees have been with their current company less than 5 years. This is in the real world folks, not the virtual one!
Did you know that if “My Space” were a country, it would be the 5th largest country in the world after Indonesia with over 200 million users? And there are over 31 billion searches on Google each month? That’s about 5 times the earth’s population. Reality is this; Cyber Space is a super highway with about 100 million lanes and you can drive it without a license!
Dare to drive
I will be in Spain this April for 12 days and I will carry my corporation with me over my right shoulder. I will communicate with clients from internet cafe’s with a “Skype Phone” for free. I will be able to do all the every day office duties no matter where I am in the world. Last week I secured a 20 thousand dollar deal sitting in Panera Bread eating a cheese pastry. My phone system is virtual, my receptionist is virtual, my assistant is virtual and the person taking your information is a virtual gentleman from England sporting a beautiful accent. Your call will reach me anywhere on the globe. It’s a great place to drive if you dare!
Education-based marketing
Where does all this work come from? It comes from people with needs that have to be met in order to move forward in what they do. How do I become a viable candidate for meeting that need? By continuously throwing very helpful information in every direction all the time. A living human resource center. The one thing humans cannot do without is other humans. The one thing we humans have the most trouble with is those other humans. The one thing every organization cannot do without is those dang humans again. This world is all about human beings. Your best and worst day usually will center around another human being. I consistently educate everyone all the time as a matter of course by waiting for opportunities to provide keys to locked doors within each and every persons world I come in contact with every day.
A valuable resource. What is it that you have the people need in order to gain a leg up in life? My advice is this; give it to everyone you meet free of charge and if they want special attention, make them pay for it. If what you have is worth something, they will gladly purchase it and refer you to another. Spend your time on the answers rather than the questions and you will attract people like flies. No body wants to hear you scold them for getting locked out of the house, but you will make many friends if you spend all your time creating house keys and just flat handing them out.
Being alone
Posted by: | CommentsBeing alone is a blessing, but being lonely is a curse. The difference is you can choose to be alone.
Seasoned with salt
Posted by: | CommentsMost people live their lives from a self-interest viewpoint. Even their thoughts are always surrounding ideas of how they are going to get what they want or how they are seen by others. When others’ view of you becomes the motivator that guides your actions, you have lost control of your life.
“But enough about me talking about myself, what do you think about me?” – famous actor
In all our relationships, there are both givers and takers. Givers listen. Takers talk. If you can get it in your mind to think about others and their needs whenever possible, you will build better and lasting relationships; otherwise you will develop shallow surface relationships that are nothing more than mini self-help programs masquerading as friendship.
Your conversations are reduced to little therapy sessions. As Solomon says, “The one who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend;” graciousness caries with it the idea of benevolence, indulgence and good taste. Benevolent to others, indulgent of others and good taste while doing it.
“The best relationships surround the idea of bringing wonderful things to the table on both sides.” –Steve Sisler
Solomon says that people of deep knowledge use words with restraint, but fools gush out anything. And whoever answers a matter before they have fully listened to the other persons side and digested the information is also a fool. Those are pretty harsh words, but think about it; when you promote your own ideas and tolerate everyone else’s, what does that say about you?
Now what should you do about this? Characterize yourself by warm kindness and courtesy, by tact and propriety and watch your relationships blossom at home, at work, at play. Saint Paul encourages us to make sure our words are “seasoned with salt” so that they are worth listening to. Salt is a preservative. We should be about preserving the dignity of others as much as possible. What are your words seasoned with? Do you allow even the possibility that the words and ideas of someone else are even remotely close to being at least as important as yours? If nothing else, it’s something to think about.
